have been toking to a couple of frens re. my bgr....i'm bugged for quite sometime...the thought of moving on and not drag on cos i dun seem to be fair to him...
though L.O.V.E is never fair, it has come to a point where all my consultants are telling me that i need to MOVE ON.....
we both tok about it on the eve of my bday pass midnite till the wee hours of my actual day....we cried...he told me that he's sure that im the ONE....but not sure if he can accept my style of living after marriage...
it seems like he DO think about our relationship, and that he knows we are not ready for marriage...i should be considered lucky....cos if he really do proposed to me one day when we are not ready, i dunno what i'll do...
told my 5* frens before that he's not planning for our marriage in the near future...no one believes...guess this tok has confirmed that im right..that i noe where my relationship is really at...
he told me that maybe he is dragging me down....maybe we should let go and we will each be more blissful if we split our ways....deep down, i've thought of that before...just that now is the time where im really thinking about should we move on...together or individually...
from the tok that nite, i noes he really loves me..he doesnt want to really change me...he changed for me....but me...sigh....i'm still the same....
the balance is tilted and the balance is no longer there....
i guess, it's time where one have to gather the courage to do something out of the comfort zone....one that will be painful...very....but one that will make two lives better.....
maybe, just maybe, i should convince myself once again that if we are really fated to be together, we will be in the future as well....
i'm tearing...wetting my t-shirt....it's been six years since i last experience this.....let's see if i'll be able to do it this weekend....God bless.......
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
surprise surprise surprise!!!
haha.....the eve of my bday...was a day with many many surprises...be it for me or for those who wana give me a surprise... hehe
Well...all started on the week of my bday....normally, i'm not too particular about working on bday as some believe that it is suay if the bday gal gets scolded on the bday....but i've decided to give myself a good break since company do give an exceptional day off (annual day lah) if your birthday falls on a weekday....
So....took leave on 23rd...
On the 22nd June, all of a sudden at around 10+, my receptionist called, "Clare, someone is here to see you, and when i turn to look over, wah....its a guy in shirt with a bouquet of flowers!!! It's BC.....wah...
Well, i was pissed when he missed the show the day before due to work and i was unable to find someone to watch it instead...
But when he came, i was melting inside....sooo SWEET!!!
my nice nice flowers....
(a bouquet, where a blur junior met along the way to dinner, said it look like 菊花. diaoz! cannot make it!!! cannot see ah)
hehe....and just when i was beaming inside....joey called to jio me lunch...but i have to go home during lunch as i 've forgotten to bring my hp out....so i suggested tiong bahru....
and just when i'm about to rush out for lunch, my receptionist called again!...argh........"clare, you've got visitor....." aiyo....tot there shouldn't be any? the next thing i know, the J n J company came with a guitar and a parcel for me....
well, for those who dunno, J n J is joey and jeffany....my 5* fren leh.....
they actually took leave to come and surprise me....hehe....soo sweet.....
steady ah my frens...last year when i learn singing, they bought me a toy microphone...this year, bought me a guitar when i'm learning guitar....wonder what i'll get next year? hehe
The best part is, they are soo pro that they even made a Delivery Order for me....made me sign somemore....these gals....
Well, in the nite, BC brought me to Bistro at Mount Faber to mum mum dinn....i kinda spoil the surprise cos he wana bring me to Mount Faber by cable car but i make noise and wana go home first cos i have to bring sooo many things to bring home! soo in the end due to time constraint, we had to miss the cable car....me the spoiler....
Dinner was at Bistro where its open area and its dark...romantic....he seems to have made progress and become less woody...shhh....
Dinner was good, with 2 main course and dessert and milkshake....i like the brulee more than the tiramisu...brulee is nicer and sweeter....but super expensive lor...the whole dinner cost 110++....杀人放火 man.......my GOD....
BC was busy....soo din had time to buy present....i'm not really disappointed cos i know he's real busy the whole month!! poor boy....all work and no rest....sayang....
we took a stroll down the road and was wondering how to make our way down....guess its either cab or by foot....but VIOLA!!! SBS actually have a bus up the hill...we first tot the bus is free but sigh, it actually cost a dollar....i thought its expensive since its only down the hill to harbourfront....how far can it be.....felt the pinch man....
in the end we took a bus back home.......................to be continue...
Well...all started on the week of my bday....normally, i'm not too particular about working on bday as some believe that it is suay if the bday gal gets scolded on the bday....but i've decided to give myself a good break since company do give an exceptional day off (annual day lah) if your birthday falls on a weekday....
So....took leave on 23rd...
On the 22nd June, all of a sudden at around 10+, my receptionist called, "Clare, someone is here to see you, and when i turn to look over, wah....its a guy in shirt with a bouquet of flowers!!! It's BC.....wah...
Well, i was pissed when he missed the show the day before due to work and i was unable to find someone to watch it instead...
But when he came, i was melting inside....sooo SWEET!!!
my nice nice flowers....
(a bouquet, where a blur junior met along the way to dinner, said it look like 菊花. diaoz! cannot make it!!! cannot see ah)
hehe....and just when i was beaming inside....joey called to jio me lunch...but i have to go home during lunch as i 've forgotten to bring my hp out....so i suggested tiong bahru....
and just when i'm about to rush out for lunch, my receptionist called again!...argh........"clare, you've got visitor....." aiyo....tot there shouldn't be any? the next thing i know, the J n J company came with a guitar and a parcel for me....
well, for those who dunno, J n J is joey and jeffany....my 5* fren leh.....
they actually took leave to come and surprise me....hehe....soo sweet.....
steady ah my frens...last year when i learn singing, they bought me a toy microphone...this year, bought me a guitar when i'm learning guitar....wonder what i'll get next year? heheThe best part is, they are soo pro that they even made a Delivery Order for me....made me sign somemore....these gals....
Well, in the nite, BC brought me to Bistro at Mount Faber to mum mum dinn....i kinda spoil the surprise cos he wana bring me to Mount Faber by cable car but i make noise and wana go home first cos i have to bring sooo many things to bring home! soo in the end due to time constraint, we had to miss the cable car....me the spoiler....
Dinner was at Bistro where its open area and its dark...romantic....he seems to have made progress and become less woody...shhh....
Dinner was good, with 2 main course and dessert and milkshake....i like the brulee more than the tiramisu...brulee is nicer and sweeter....but super expensive lor...the whole dinner cost 110++....杀人放火 man.......my GOD....
BC was busy....soo din had time to buy present....i'm not really disappointed cos i know he's real busy the whole month!! poor boy....all work and no rest....sayang....
we took a stroll down the road and was wondering how to make our way down....guess its either cab or by foot....but VIOLA!!! SBS actually have a bus up the hill...we first tot the bus is free but sigh, it actually cost a dollar....i thought its expensive since its only down the hill to harbourfront....how far can it be.....felt the pinch man....
in the end we took a bus back home.......................to be continue...
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
it's a sian week last week
wat else but work work work.....im sian cos im being asked to handle a potential client who's needs is much more than i can fulfil....tough man....all the flights, hotels and car transfer is getting me crazy...
its an experience but not one that allows me time to learn....got to be thick skin and bug ppl to help me again! sigh....
in the end, got myself soo busy plus soo coincidently, my 'i' client also give me weird weird itinerary that i'm not able to complete within a snap of fingers....
such a bad week liao and then b snap at me.....
it caught me unexpectedly and make me feel like i've made a grave mistake.....the walk to the usual bus stop was torturing though i try to pretend as though nothing happens and talk as per norm but deep down i was like...."Wah Lao!!!" dun give me such nonsense leh....
as though its not bad enuff, the next day....got news that RR tender her resignation....
Saturday at Redi was bad too....though i got home not too late the nite before, but somehow or rather, the way i read news was super duper diaoz....how to be DJ like that....throw my own reputation when i havent even build it up....
finally decided to give myself a pat by not doing anything after redi....a good break, physically and mentally....
zzzzzzzz..............
its an experience but not one that allows me time to learn....got to be thick skin and bug ppl to help me again! sigh....
in the end, got myself soo busy plus soo coincidently, my 'i' client also give me weird weird itinerary that i'm not able to complete within a snap of fingers....
such a bad week liao and then b snap at me.....
it caught me unexpectedly and make me feel like i've made a grave mistake.....the walk to the usual bus stop was torturing though i try to pretend as though nothing happens and talk as per norm but deep down i was like...."Wah Lao!!!" dun give me such nonsense leh....
as though its not bad enuff, the next day....got news that RR tender her resignation....
Saturday at Redi was bad too....though i got home not too late the nite before, but somehow or rather, the way i read news was super duper diaoz....how to be DJ like that....throw my own reputation when i havent even build it up....
finally decided to give myself a pat by not doing anything after redi....a good break, physically and mentally....
zzzzzzzz..............
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