Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 02, 2009
Brisbane
I'm currently in Brisbane.....since the 23Sep09.
As i setoff to Brisbane with uncertainty about work and my newly chosen path, i secretly am beaming with delight. Delight that i got away with my errors, got away from the job caused me soo much stress that i broke down in the office....
I'm not sure if what i've chosen is what i want. Who cares? How many people in this world knows what they want? Not many i supposed.
Today is the 7th working day. I'm tired. Waking up early, coming back later, doing 'household chores', watching tv.....by the time i sleep, its 12 or 1+ in the night. The weather has been cooling. yet sunny.
The first day i was here, i couldnt get the air conditioning to blow me more hot air. It just stays at 13/14 degrees. Cold. Tried to take a nap but was unable to fall into deep sleep. The wind was strong and blowing in through little gaps from the window. Sirens of ambulances and fire engines kept ringing. Argh.....
The second day was first day at work. Pretty ok. But just irritated that the internet is not working. Took the IT guys to send instructions to my colleague in the afternoon and in the end, i'm only able to do emails and minimum internet. "Great!" so call having IT guys/department in the same building which is of not much help.
Went out in the night to get dinner and something for Dear to arrive. He is due to arrive after midnight at 1+. I needed to be at the lobby to wait for him.
By the time he's here, im too tired.
Saturday was a relax day. We walk to Chinatown, took a train to Southbank. They had a man made city beach right in the middle of the city. Interesting. Walk to the wheel of brisbane. Too expensive.....we aborted the idea of taking the ride.
In the end, we ended in the casino. And guess what? I won a jackpot! my first and prolly the only? just a mere hundred bucks.....haha....
Sunday was movieworld. Sadly, we only reached there at 2pm and it was due to close at 5.30pm. Bad timing. We couldnt decide what to do the night before till the next morning. A little irritated as i was tired and wanted to just have someone to make a decision but i guess, i expect too much.
The following week was work and dinner. Minimal shopping. Dear must be bored. He is alone in the day and have to spend his entire day alone. Imagine a person having all the time in the day finding here bored. What happens for a person who is working and knock off the same time the shops are closed?
The whole week was very potato wiss.....had lots of potatos.....we kept going back to the same place, queen street mall surroundings and only ate western food. Hence, we started to get sick and tired of western food.
Luckily, we managed to venture more and found chinese food. At least, it was for a change. Really miss Singapore's food.
In the 9 days i'm here, i could only say, i enjoyed being alone at times. Yet i must admit, having a company still makes a difference. Cos the additional noise in the apartment and around you just makes one more at ease and comfortable.
Thanks dear.....
As i setoff to Brisbane with uncertainty about work and my newly chosen path, i secretly am beaming with delight. Delight that i got away with my errors, got away from the job caused me soo much stress that i broke down in the office....
I'm not sure if what i've chosen is what i want. Who cares? How many people in this world knows what they want? Not many i supposed.
Today is the 7th working day. I'm tired. Waking up early, coming back later, doing 'household chores', watching tv.....by the time i sleep, its 12 or 1+ in the night. The weather has been cooling. yet sunny.
The first day i was here, i couldnt get the air conditioning to blow me more hot air. It just stays at 13/14 degrees. Cold. Tried to take a nap but was unable to fall into deep sleep. The wind was strong and blowing in through little gaps from the window. Sirens of ambulances and fire engines kept ringing. Argh.....
The second day was first day at work. Pretty ok. But just irritated that the internet is not working. Took the IT guys to send instructions to my colleague in the afternoon and in the end, i'm only able to do emails and minimum internet. "Great!" so call having IT guys/department in the same building which is of not much help.
Went out in the night to get dinner and something for Dear to arrive. He is due to arrive after midnight at 1+. I needed to be at the lobby to wait for him.
By the time he's here, im too tired.
Saturday was a relax day. We walk to Chinatown, took a train to Southbank. They had a man made city beach right in the middle of the city. Interesting. Walk to the wheel of brisbane. Too expensive.....we aborted the idea of taking the ride.
In the end, we ended in the casino. And guess what? I won a jackpot! my first and prolly the only? just a mere hundred bucks.....haha....
Sunday was movieworld. Sadly, we only reached there at 2pm and it was due to close at 5.30pm. Bad timing. We couldnt decide what to do the night before till the next morning. A little irritated as i was tired and wanted to just have someone to make a decision but i guess, i expect too much.
The following week was work and dinner. Minimal shopping. Dear must be bored. He is alone in the day and have to spend his entire day alone. Imagine a person having all the time in the day finding here bored. What happens for a person who is working and knock off the same time the shops are closed?
The whole week was very potato wiss.....had lots of potatos.....we kept going back to the same place, queen street mall surroundings and only ate western food. Hence, we started to get sick and tired of western food.
Luckily, we managed to venture more and found chinese food. At least, it was for a change. Really miss Singapore's food.
In the 9 days i'm here, i could only say, i enjoyed being alone at times. Yet i must admit, having a company still makes a difference. Cos the additional noise in the apartment and around you just makes one more at ease and comfortable.
Thanks dear.....
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
My new work
Its been 3 mths since i joined this new company.
A team leader im called, but in long run, I'm the Ops Manager.
Things werent smooth sailing as I past my 1st month.
Colleague arguing with me, department heads being ignorant of the trade or working the old way, things are in a mess, consultants not of standard....lots for me to do..
Everyone was excited about my arrival, but i soon realise that this excitement was more of additional work for me than something good for me.
I survived the 3 months with long nights, hidden displeasement and feeling hopeless at times. But i guess i will see the light soon.
It'll be ok.....
I will survive....
A team leader im called, but in long run, I'm the Ops Manager.
Things werent smooth sailing as I past my 1st month.
Colleague arguing with me, department heads being ignorant of the trade or working the old way, things are in a mess, consultants not of standard....lots for me to do..
Everyone was excited about my arrival, but i soon realise that this excitement was more of additional work for me than something good for me.
I survived the 3 months with long nights, hidden displeasement and feeling hopeless at times. But i guess i will see the light soon.
It'll be ok.....
I will survive....
Chapter closed.
Got to know that he is attached today. I'm happy. Happy that he moved on. Happy that he has found someone. I was kinda guilty and 'worried' but i guess, time has eased the pain and it's time to move on.
A chapter closed for me.
All the best.....
A chapter closed for me.
All the best.....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Tired...exhausted
I'm been in my new job for 1month plus. And i'm tired. Everyone seems to be looking forward to me joining the team. I was excited as well. Just that now, i've lost some energy.
I've been kept busy all day. Meeting clients, solving consultants problems, discussion, asking people about what happens in the office, how are things done and lotsa more. Soo many things to do, soo little time.
Having problematic consultants doesn't help as well. My boss has been nice to them and they are slowly taking advantage of it and i'm feeling the effects of it.
I've heard many people giving me advices. And these advices are draining me out. They are good advice, just that they are not in line with what i was 'brought' up in. The autonomy and flexibility given makes me feel uneasy.
I feel im at a cross junction. Lots of way to do stuff. I don't have advisors that i can really seek in the office. Im the only head that is from operations.
As i start to drain out my energy, i need to find a way out. A way to quickly set things right, the way i want. I'm not sure how well i can do it, but im sure as long as i try hard enough, i will make it happen the way i want it to.
Ganbatte!
I've been kept busy all day. Meeting clients, solving consultants problems, discussion, asking people about what happens in the office, how are things done and lotsa more. Soo many things to do, soo little time.
Having problematic consultants doesn't help as well. My boss has been nice to them and they are slowly taking advantage of it and i'm feeling the effects of it.
I've heard many people giving me advices. And these advices are draining me out. They are good advice, just that they are not in line with what i was 'brought' up in. The autonomy and flexibility given makes me feel uneasy.
I feel im at a cross junction. Lots of way to do stuff. I don't have advisors that i can really seek in the office. Im the only head that is from operations.
As i start to drain out my energy, i need to find a way out. A way to quickly set things right, the way i want. I'm not sure how well i can do it, but im sure as long as i try hard enough, i will make it happen the way i want it to.
Ganbatte!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
First day with no work. Officially jobless
haha.. i am awake at 8.30am. Awoken by an sms from a friend.
I login to msn and was asked to rest more, its a no work day.
But i guess, its ok. I have about 8 more days to sleep all i want! haha
Not many can have such a freedom. Esp hard to come by during this economy crisis
Anyway, i'll enjoy the time i have. Before 6th Apr. My next challenge!
I login to msn and was asked to rest more, its a no work day.
But i guess, its ok. I have about 8 more days to sleep all i want! haha
Not many can have such a freedom. Esp hard to come by during this economy crisis
Anyway, i'll enjoy the time i have. Before 6th Apr. My next challenge!
Last day
Yesterday was my last day at work. It was a weird feeling. Prior to the last day, i was counting down the days in my msn. Last 5 days. last 4 days....
Till the last day at work, i was counting down. I wasnt really glad to leave or looking forward to the last day as there wasnt a strong push factor that makes me want to leave my workplace that soon.
But it was a good choice i made. At times, when one is too used to or comfortable at a place, our growth stagnant. By saying growth, it might not mean having opportunities to grow. But i meant the pace i set for myself.
I used to have a strong urge to do things. But i realised that as days passed, i was slowing myself down. The urge for growth was not as great. I was still doing my stuff, but doing the bare minimum. I would still reply emails, push for partners to correct their workflow but the feeling was different.
I know that i need to go. And having yet another opportunity helps me to make my decision.
It was a better offer, a new environment, a new setup.
I would not know if its a good step until i try. And i did.
Amazingly, i did not even sign the contract for the new job prior tendering my resignation. Somehow, i have a feeling that it'll be ok. Friends and loved ones around me urge me to have things settled as soon as possible. To protect our own well being.
For me, I felt that i'm in safe hands. What can happened? The most, i'll be without a job. If that really happens, yes, i'll be financially tight. But I would have learn something. That the new company is not worth me working for it.
Sounds too hopeful or naive huh? But at times, when we try too hard to make things work or gets it done, there is something missing in that.
Anyway, i was trying to tie up my loose ends at work, lunch, then finish with my colleague L who is taking over me, go for my exit interview, take photos with colleagues and bid goodbye. Meet my bf and enjoy a good show at the esplanade.
The day wasnt as smooth or relax as i thought. L was nervous i felt, asking me questions i couldnt answer and y would i have all the answers? She was panicky at my departure. Afterall, she was a project manager too long that she prolly couldnt be technical or in depth any faster. It din help when i've set a benchmark for the role.
I was and am a technical person. Someone that can go into the details and be very technical about the things i do. I helped and pave the way for the people that i worked with, but might have set a tough path for L.
I guess, it wasnt my problem anymore and she will be alright in time. Sooner or later. She'll be fine.
My exit interview was ok. Quick and pretty simple. I expected the things i would face. Signing a document i never believe in but just for clearance sake, its ok. I took photos with all my colleagues (i try to) and say goodbye. Teared a little when one of them tear. But all in all, it was good. It was a good feeling to receive well wishes from people.
Together with the well wishes, photos, and some gifts i received, i left the place i worked for 5+ years. All happened on the 26Mar09.
Goodbye. And look forward to the new challenge ahead.
Till the last day at work, i was counting down. I wasnt really glad to leave or looking forward to the last day as there wasnt a strong push factor that makes me want to leave my workplace that soon.
But it was a good choice i made. At times, when one is too used to or comfortable at a place, our growth stagnant. By saying growth, it might not mean having opportunities to grow. But i meant the pace i set for myself.
I used to have a strong urge to do things. But i realised that as days passed, i was slowing myself down. The urge for growth was not as great. I was still doing my stuff, but doing the bare minimum. I would still reply emails, push for partners to correct their workflow but the feeling was different.
I know that i need to go. And having yet another opportunity helps me to make my decision.
It was a better offer, a new environment, a new setup.
I would not know if its a good step until i try. And i did.
Amazingly, i did not even sign the contract for the new job prior tendering my resignation. Somehow, i have a feeling that it'll be ok. Friends and loved ones around me urge me to have things settled as soon as possible. To protect our own well being.
For me, I felt that i'm in safe hands. What can happened? The most, i'll be without a job. If that really happens, yes, i'll be financially tight. But I would have learn something. That the new company is not worth me working for it.
Sounds too hopeful or naive huh? But at times, when we try too hard to make things work or gets it done, there is something missing in that.
Anyway, i was trying to tie up my loose ends at work, lunch, then finish with my colleague L who is taking over me, go for my exit interview, take photos with colleagues and bid goodbye. Meet my bf and enjoy a good show at the esplanade.
The day wasnt as smooth or relax as i thought. L was nervous i felt, asking me questions i couldnt answer and y would i have all the answers? She was panicky at my departure. Afterall, she was a project manager too long that she prolly couldnt be technical or in depth any faster. It din help when i've set a benchmark for the role.
I was and am a technical person. Someone that can go into the details and be very technical about the things i do. I helped and pave the way for the people that i worked with, but might have set a tough path for L.
I guess, it wasnt my problem anymore and she will be alright in time. Sooner or later. She'll be fine.
My exit interview was ok. Quick and pretty simple. I expected the things i would face. Signing a document i never believe in but just for clearance sake, its ok. I took photos with all my colleagues (i try to) and say goodbye. Teared a little when one of them tear. But all in all, it was good. It was a good feeling to receive well wishes from people.
Together with the well wishes, photos, and some gifts i received, i left the place i worked for 5+ years. All happened on the 26Mar09.
Goodbye. And look forward to the new challenge ahead.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Jing's married video
I'm soo happy for her. After all the heartbreaks and jerks, im soo glad she find one that she can settle down with and is happy to be in love. Love can be soo simple at times..
Thursday, March 12, 2009
My resignation
After much thinking, i've finally decided to leave this company. Use this word finally seems like i'm sooo eager to leave. On the contrary, I'm happy to leave SG office. Though i've technically left SG office as i'm in my new role in the Aspac office, there seem to be hidden strings attached. Could be due to the convenience of having me around, i feel im being taken advantage of at times.
My first resgination experience was scary. I type the letter and printed the letter at home. The letter was dated 27February. Then decided to submit the letter on the 26th. I took the letter, shivered and went into Derick, my boss's room.
Told him i needed to speak to him and that i needed to close the door.
I then told him i have a bomb for him and passed him the letter, in a traditional white envelope.
He had a "Oh no" face and quietly read through the letter.
I talk about my decision. Why i wanted to go and how it has got nothing to do with the current job.
He was concerned, if my decision was a good move. I told him where im going and we discuss about it. I told him my increment and how the entire package was liked.
We then ended the conversation on a good note and he had to talk to his boss about it.
I went lunch. I wasnt too stable. Had an urge to cry. I was sad. Im leaving a nice boss and placing myself in a unknown situation.
The minute i was back from lunch, an Australia vendor msn me. She knows about it. News spread fast. Real fast.
They are sad that i'm leaveing. And of cos, the standard question of where im going.
I chose who i want to tell on my next destination. But i din really feel that i needed to hide from anyone.
The next few days, once my resignation was confirmed, i ping people in the Singapore office. Some were happy for me, some were sad but still happy for me and some just want my contact in case they need to look for me.
It was ok. I could deal with all such reactions.
After coming 6 years in this company, i felt i've seen and learnt a lot. I've grown, very much. And am very pleased that my next company appreciates people with talent. I'm not saying im really talented, but at least, the way my next company work is structured in the sense that they reward people accordingly to their effort.
Im looking forward to my next challenge, the biggest in my 5 years in the society. And counting my days in the current.
Ganbatte!!!
My first resgination experience was scary. I type the letter and printed the letter at home. The letter was dated 27February. Then decided to submit the letter on the 26th. I took the letter, shivered and went into Derick, my boss's room.
Told him i needed to speak to him and that i needed to close the door.
I then told him i have a bomb for him and passed him the letter, in a traditional white envelope.
He had a "Oh no" face and quietly read through the letter.
I talk about my decision. Why i wanted to go and how it has got nothing to do with the current job.
He was concerned, if my decision was a good move. I told him where im going and we discuss about it. I told him my increment and how the entire package was liked.
We then ended the conversation on a good note and he had to talk to his boss about it.
I went lunch. I wasnt too stable. Had an urge to cry. I was sad. Im leaving a nice boss and placing myself in a unknown situation.
The minute i was back from lunch, an Australia vendor msn me. She knows about it. News spread fast. Real fast.
They are sad that i'm leaveing. And of cos, the standard question of where im going.
I chose who i want to tell on my next destination. But i din really feel that i needed to hide from anyone.
The next few days, once my resignation was confirmed, i ping people in the Singapore office. Some were happy for me, some were sad but still happy for me and some just want my contact in case they need to look for me.
It was ok. I could deal with all such reactions.
After coming 6 years in this company, i felt i've seen and learnt a lot. I've grown, very much. And am very pleased that my next company appreciates people with talent. I'm not saying im really talented, but at least, the way my next company work is structured in the sense that they reward people accordingly to their effort.
Im looking forward to my next challenge, the biggest in my 5 years in the society. And counting my days in the current.
Ganbatte!!!
Monday, March 09, 2009
Efficiency - where has it gone to?
A hotelier called to arrange a visit to our office. I took the message and call the team in-charge of the client.
She told me hoteliers need to go direct to our MICE team to arrange for meeting
I ping the MICE gal and guess what she say?
"I can't allow the visit till they sign up for our XXX program. she probably got to call me to arrange for that"
I went, "Then now what? I have to call her to tell her?"
She goes "Preferably, I don't wanna look desperate for her to sign up. so u got to help me by asking her to make arrangement with me first"
What the hell....
I shall just pass the call next time. Soo much for taking a message.
She told me hoteliers need to go direct to our MICE team to arrange for meeting
I ping the MICE gal and guess what she say?
"I can't allow the visit till they sign up for our XXX program. she probably got to call me to arrange for that"
I went, "Then now what? I have to call her to tell her?"
She goes "Preferably, I don't wanna look desperate for her to sign up. so u got to help me by asking her to make arrangement with me first"
What the hell....
I shall just pass the call next time. Soo much for taking a message.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
PK - 梁靜茹 and 曹格
Nice song....interesting lyrics...
PK
曲：曹格
詞：姚若龍
（男）你有堅持的事情
我也有我的個性
這次不讓你 （女）這次不讓你（男）call我兄弟飆歌去
（女）跟兩個人有關係
你卻一個人決定
情緒谷底 約好姊妹喝香檳
（男）最恨別人對我不相信
（女）我嚮往的親密是一起做決定
（男）干涉太多是囚禁
（女）溝通太少是疏離
（合）愛有千百萬種定義
（女）三天不聯絡 和解要被動
（男）不談對錯 假裝沒冷戰過
（合）想在愛裏當主key 要搶到麥克風
（女）三天淚狂流 殘局你來收
（男）雖然心疼 不能攤手低頭
（合）心思拉扯中 PK寂寞
PK
曲：曹格
詞：姚若龍
（男）你有堅持的事情
我也有我的個性
這次不讓你 （女）這次不讓你（男）call我兄弟飆歌去
（女）跟兩個人有關係
你卻一個人決定
情緒谷底 約好姊妹喝香檳
（男）最恨別人對我不相信
（女）我嚮往的親密是一起做決定
（男）干涉太多是囚禁
（女）溝通太少是疏離
（合）愛有千百萬種定義
（女）三天不聯絡 和解要被動
（男）不談對錯 假裝沒冷戰過
（合）想在愛裏當主key 要搶到麥克風
（女）三天淚狂流 殘局你來收
（男）雖然心疼 不能攤手低頭
（合）心思拉扯中 PK寂寞
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Gathering with old CJ classmates
A gathering with my JC classmates. Boy, we have known each other for coming 12 years!
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| Gathering with JC mates |
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
my Mum and Mum
well, was having a msn conversation with sis and she happily say
"i was telling my mum that if she wanna come....."
she type with soo much ease and simply forgotten that she is chatting with her sister and its not just her mum but ours. Shake head....
This is definitely not the first time.
She called mum once, left a message to ask mum to return call to her daughter.
Mum called me shortly after and ask if i called, i was liked, "No, and you have 2 daughters. That sis, never state properly which daughter call..." Shake head.....
Prolly her pregnancy is causing all these.....
"i was telling my mum that if she wanna come....."
she type with soo much ease and simply forgotten that she is chatting with her sister and its not just her mum but ours. Shake head....
This is definitely not the first time.
She called mum once, left a message to ask mum to return call to her daughter.
Mum called me shortly after and ask if i called, i was liked, "No, and you have 2 daughters. That sis, never state properly which daughter call..." Shake head.....
Prolly her pregnancy is causing all these.....
Monday, February 09, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
My first DIY Mosaic Photo frame
Well, bought the kit for SGD8.90 and spend less than an hour doing it. Sweet isn't it?
Twins at Uncle Joe's place
Well, they become my models...nothing much to do so decided to just snap them away...
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| Twins on CNY at Uncle Joe House |
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Accurate reading
Bought a deck of oracle cards today, The Wisdom of Avalon by Colette Baron-Reid.
Was playing with the turtle gang and the guys. They seem curious at first and they urge each other to have a go. However, after each reading, i realised they were having fun and not serious with the cards. A little offended but, guess, its ok bah
Anyway, i did a single card reading and once i got the card, i was a little shocked. I've drawn a forgiveness card.
The card reads,
"Drawing this marker says that you must now search your heart for any unresolved resentment, anger, or disagreements between u n another. If you're still hurt or angry about another's behaviour, or if there are circumstances in your life that you resent, this is a time when it's crucial to release the negative energy surrounding those situations. Resisting this will only impede your growth and draw more unwanted experiences to you.
Resentment and anger are emotions that actually bind you and hook you to the events that cause your suffering, keeping them alive inside you, draining you of your life force and inner light. Nothing good comes from hate, anger, or resentment. Peace can only come through forgiveness, when you release all that binds you to negativity. Perhaps you need to forgive yourself for placing unrealistic expectations on your situation resulting in a self-sabotaging perception tainted by perfectionism.
Look at the world and see how the lack of forgiveness feeds the turmoil and suffering around you. Forgiveness is the key to freedom and peace......and it starsts with you.
This marker requires you to practice forgiveness so that you can be an active part of spreading peace and beauty throughout this troubled world"
Guess the question i ask? "How can i get over the guilt i have for breaking up with him?"
Soo true a reading.....
and i regreted doing this reading in front of my frens. Cos i was asked what question i asked and i resented answering that cos it resulted in one of them asking me why i had break up with him. And i hear the magic words again. "Then it must be your fault lor"
Though harmless, it hurts.
Forgiveness, i will digest the reading and practise it.
Was playing with the turtle gang and the guys. They seem curious at first and they urge each other to have a go. However, after each reading, i realised they were having fun and not serious with the cards. A little offended but, guess, its ok bah
Anyway, i did a single card reading and once i got the card, i was a little shocked. I've drawn a forgiveness card.
The card reads,
"Drawing this marker says that you must now search your heart for any unresolved resentment, anger, or disagreements between u n another. If you're still hurt or angry about another's behaviour, or if there are circumstances in your life that you resent, this is a time when it's crucial to release the negative energy surrounding those situations. Resisting this will only impede your growth and draw more unwanted experiences to you.
Resentment and anger are emotions that actually bind you and hook you to the events that cause your suffering, keeping them alive inside you, draining you of your life force and inner light. Nothing good comes from hate, anger, or resentment. Peace can only come through forgiveness, when you release all that binds you to negativity. Perhaps you need to forgive yourself for placing unrealistic expectations on your situation resulting in a self-sabotaging perception tainted by perfectionism.
Look at the world and see how the lack of forgiveness feeds the turmoil and suffering around you. Forgiveness is the key to freedom and peace......and it starsts with you.
This marker requires you to practice forgiveness so that you can be an active part of spreading peace and beauty throughout this troubled world"
Guess the question i ask? "How can i get over the guilt i have for breaking up with him?"
Soo true a reading.....
and i regreted doing this reading in front of my frens. Cos i was asked what question i asked and i resented answering that cos it resulted in one of them asking me why i had break up with him. And i hear the magic words again. "Then it must be your fault lor"
Though harmless, it hurts.
Forgiveness, i will digest the reading and practise it.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My reading using oracle cards
recently, got myself involved with ff, kalai and b on oracle cards.
ff sent me an online url to kalai's deck of oracle cards.
I did a reading and ask, "How should i handle my relationships?"
Did a three card reading that gave me the following answer
My past - The Clanconer - illusion, delusion, lust, projection, clear sight
The starter reading states
It is not good to make decisions when blinded by lust. Whether it is lust for a person, a thing, or an idea, we need to pause and take our time before making actual commitments. We need to read the fine print, check out the foundations, get a mechanic to test the so-beautiful secondhand car. If we are considering buying something, we can refuse to let ourselves be rushed into it and take time for making sure that it really what we think it is. If we are considering making a commitment to other people, we need to take our time and really get to know them much better. This is another lesson in seeing the truth behind a beglamoured surface, though in this case it is we who have cast the glamour
My present - The Singer of Intuition - Perceptiveness, Oracular powers, awareness, trust
The starter reading states
In a reading, the presence of the Singer of Intuition indicates that information is available to us if we will just listen to our own inner knowing. Perhaps we have already heard it, and still doubt our subtle senses. The Singer says this is the time to really listen to our intuition. What is the querent's own feeling, hunch, or intuition about this situation? It is desirable that the querent should seek solitude, meditate, and practice stillness and patience. This is a time for inward focus, a time to open the inner door to intuition (there are a lot of 'in's in this sentence because important answers are to be found within the querent himself). The presence of this Singer in card spread radiates special illumination and insight on the other cards around it
My future - The Singer of Transfiguration - Transformation, transcendance, metamorphasis
My starter reading states
Jackpot! This card in a reading signifies the joy of success after a time of struggle. A new way of life has been accepted and is being integrated. A sense of inner peace is growing. The struggle has all been worth it. This is a time of consolidation and joy, and is both a reward for past achievements and a time of preparation for the next climb up the path
I especially like the last card, i should right? its a happy ending....I like it for the fact that it seems to know that i've struggled. And im glad it tells me i will have a happy ending....like in all tv dramas.....hehe
ff sent me an online url to kalai's deck of oracle cards.
I did a reading and ask, "How should i handle my relationships?"
Did a three card reading that gave me the following answer
My past - The Clanconer - illusion, delusion, lust, projection, clear sight
The starter reading states
It is not good to make decisions when blinded by lust. Whether it is lust for a person, a thing, or an idea, we need to pause and take our time before making actual commitments. We need to read the fine print, check out the foundations, get a mechanic to test the so-beautiful secondhand car. If we are considering buying something, we can refuse to let ourselves be rushed into it and take time for making sure that it really what we think it is. If we are considering making a commitment to other people, we need to take our time and really get to know them much better. This is another lesson in seeing the truth behind a beglamoured surface, though in this case it is we who have cast the glamour
My present - The Singer of Intuition - Perceptiveness, Oracular powers, awareness, trust
The starter reading states
In a reading, the presence of the Singer of Intuition indicates that information is available to us if we will just listen to our own inner knowing. Perhaps we have already heard it, and still doubt our subtle senses. The Singer says this is the time to really listen to our intuition. What is the querent's own feeling, hunch, or intuition about this situation? It is desirable that the querent should seek solitude, meditate, and practice stillness and patience. This is a time for inward focus, a time to open the inner door to intuition (there are a lot of 'in's in this sentence because important answers are to be found within the querent himself). The presence of this Singer in card spread radiates special illumination and insight on the other cards around it
My future - The Singer of Transfiguration - Transformation, transcendance, metamorphasis
My starter reading states
Jackpot! This card in a reading signifies the joy of success after a time of struggle. A new way of life has been accepted and is being integrated. A sense of inner peace is growing. The struggle has all been worth it. This is a time of consolidation and joy, and is both a reward for past achievements and a time of preparation for the next climb up the path
I especially like the last card, i should right? its a happy ending....I like it for the fact that it seems to know that i've struggled. And im glad it tells me i will have a happy ending....like in all tv dramas.....hehe
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
New Year Resolution
Seems like i have been offending my close frens by my actions. So far, one each....
Over the year, i have been more self centered. Focusing on my own growth and how i feel. Need to start to spend time knowing people. Be concerned about them.
Show my Tender, Loving and Care side. Im afterall, a cancerian.
Cancerians are known to be motherly.
Let me find that side of me back and share that with all.....
Over the year, i have been more self centered. Focusing on my own growth and how i feel. Need to start to spend time knowing people. Be concerned about them.
Show my Tender, Loving and Care side. Im afterall, a cancerian.
Cancerians are known to be motherly.
Let me find that side of me back and share that with all.....
Ended......
I told him what i needed to.
He say he will let his heart die. Maybe when he forget about me then will he forgive me.
I cried. Badly.
It's painful. And i did it again. A second time.
I guess, that's the end......
He say he will let his heart die. Maybe when he forget about me then will he forgive me.
I cried. Badly.
It's painful. And i did it again. A second time.
I guess, that's the end......
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Some guys are lame. Try too hard
Recently got into this online site to know more people. Its simple. Leave your photo and some information and others can view your profile and drop a wink or message.
I've got some messages and winks left in my inbox and was curious about them. I view their profile, reply some and chat on msn with some guys
Basically, i realised that most, do not have much to say. Or their questions are standard. I classify them as standard simply after chatting with a few and the same questions asked
I've got some messages and winks left in my inbox and was curious about them. I view their profile, reply some and chat on msn with some guys
Basically, i realised that most, do not have much to say. Or their questions are standard. I classify them as standard simply after chatting with a few and the same questions asked
- Height, weight?
- Single?
- Wana exchange HP numbers?
Boring....it might be such questions are common but well, it doesnt impressed me.
There was one who asked if he could go after me. Nuts. Its only the first time talking to him
The same guy always reply the a single word answer. Question asked, "how was your day", he replied "fine". I thought this is an open ended question that deserves more explanation?Diaoz.....how to continue to chat?
Another simply reply in caps"THEN Y U COME NET. LOOK FOR BF, FREN OR WAT" when i reply prior that i din understand a message he wrote. I then told him it was rude to reply in caps. Guess his reply? He said he tot i was blind so write bigger. Slap him man....
Sigh....lame....
My BGR
have not been blogging for sometime simply cos i have not felt the urge to do it. I realised i enjoyed blogging more when i want to share something or when i have something to say.
Recently, i have, in a way been asking close frens about the comment i receive. I wanted to reply. But my intended reply seems rude to them.
I was angry. I appear offline on msn in the middle of the conversation and reply that i din want to talk about it. I shouldnt.
I have not been making things easy for myself and my friends i guess. Friends have gave me lots of advice and advising me not to be in the grey area. I should be definite and sure of what i want and make it clear to suitors.
In recent conversations, my fren mentioned i am confused. Another mentioned in a call today that its hard for all when one is not sure of what she wants.夜长梦多.
I was angry for the fact that i find the focus is on him. I seemed rude, dun leave him dangling (in case it becomes an ugly scene next time), i must be the one that breaks up the relationship and all.
I know im the bad guy. I initiate the breakup. And because of that, i seem to be getting attention that i did not expect. Or i led people to give me attention that i din want. I cant handle this well. I cant.
I dun want to handle wat people say. Cos i cant get the acknowledge and comfort i wanted from sharing with them. I understand their good intentions. I know. But i cant handle it.
I've decided. Let's not talk about him anymore. Im not gonna talk about him anymore. Cos i cant handle people's comments and i know i will feel hurt. When im not in the state to handle it, i should learn to not tok about it. You might say im coward, its ok. You might think avoiding doesnt help, its ok.
Time will heal the wound. And it seems 1 year is simply not enough.
Recently, i have, in a way been asking close frens about the comment i receive. I wanted to reply. But my intended reply seems rude to them.
I was angry. I appear offline on msn in the middle of the conversation and reply that i din want to talk about it. I shouldnt.
I have not been making things easy for myself and my friends i guess. Friends have gave me lots of advice and advising me not to be in the grey area. I should be definite and sure of what i want and make it clear to suitors.
In recent conversations, my fren mentioned i am confused. Another mentioned in a call today that its hard for all when one is not sure of what she wants.夜长梦多.
I was angry for the fact that i find the focus is on him. I seemed rude, dun leave him dangling (in case it becomes an ugly scene next time), i must be the one that breaks up the relationship and all.
I know im the bad guy. I initiate the breakup. And because of that, i seem to be getting attention that i did not expect. Or i led people to give me attention that i din want. I cant handle this well. I cant.
I dun want to handle wat people say. Cos i cant get the acknowledge and comfort i wanted from sharing with them. I understand their good intentions. I know. But i cant handle it.
I've decided. Let's not talk about him anymore. Im not gonna talk about him anymore. Cos i cant handle people's comments and i know i will feel hurt. When im not in the state to handle it, i should learn to not tok about it. You might say im coward, its ok. You might think avoiding doesnt help, its ok.
Time will heal the wound. And it seems 1 year is simply not enough.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
范瑋琪 - 沒那麼愛他
Was listening to this song and find it very meaningful. First time i could really relate to the story behind the song.....A friend's advice to another fren's failed relationship...Esp like "是习惯还是爱 不放心还是不甘心 只有你自己知道解答"..enjoy..
你有权利情绪化
你不一定要坚强
但有些事情不能伪装
别为自己设了框
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下
深呼吸抬头望
发现天空很宽广
这世界那么大
幸福总会在某个地方
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
拥有过的计划
留给值得的对象
你知道不会是他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下
你有权利情绪化
你不一定要坚强
但有些事情不能伪装
别为自己设了框
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下
是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下
深呼吸抬头望
发现天空很宽广
这世界那么大
幸福总会在某个地方
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
拥有过的计划
留给值得的对象
你知道不会是他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下
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