well, today finally receive a call from ah T to tell me that boss decided to take me down....
that includes my Saturday 9 to 2pm slot and 搏客达人 pre-recorded programme。
I've expected it....but that doesn't lessen the impact it has on me...i've sent numerous sms to BC, RB then FF. first to call RB....guess as he was the one who recommend me, prolly he really wants to know what happen...
well, i've expected it cos
1) Last sat, the minute i finish the 10am news slot, ah T da ge came in to say, 'huh, how many people did you say died in the typhoon in Zhejiang?' ....i knew it that its coming......somehow feel that i was being monitored....when he left the room, he said," pls jiayou. got quite a number of ppl commenting on your news reading...."
at that moment, a gong sort of strike me.....hence 10.30am 八卦流行乐 sound bland i think.....i've tried to keep the spirit up and hide it but i guess it sound not the upspirit....
2) That day when ah B tried to intro someone to ah T da ge, ah T said' is it like the last time that one? how's the command of mandarin?' The conversation happen in the room where im in and being sensitive, i thought it could be me that ah T was hinting.....
maybe i'm sensitive but i felt that cos i noe deep down my command of mandarin is not good as well...
my mandarin is not powerful nor bad. i can manage a full mandarin conversation of simple words without the influence of other language but i know that this is not enough....come on....you think being a DJ is easy? it's super hard!
actually, i've tot about quiting since i'm not up to it, not prepared, din improve much blarblarblar, but the procrastination kills......and in the end, i was asked to step down.....
Ah T mentioned that i din have to go down on saturday..that is like huh immediate dismissal? i din even get to say goodbye.....but on 2nd tots, gd too, i wouldnt know what to say too......
Ah B called me the moment i send the message and ask me about it.....and how i was, and whether my cancer nature is taking effect.....told him im rather ok lah....i know how much gold i have in the bag....so....
But this incident sort of gave me a wake up call......lessons learnt
1. Learn to say NO when you are ask to do something real time and when everything you say, is being heard by thousands and when YOU ARE NOT PREPARED or UP TO IT
2. Learn to work hard or at least strive when you have not say no to point 1 else, you'll just be smack by reality one day and well, who to blame? oneself lor.....
After the call, i email J n J, A chua, turtles and i got all replies except the one i'm waiting for.....sigh, although i know he is in msia, he is working, he might not receive the sms, he is busy, he does not know how to reply......but hey! i'm upset cos he din reply till 7+ in the evening.....
y does the reply always come late or sounds disappointing? reminded me of the time when i fell...the same type of disappointment.....
now that my saturday's morning are free, it gives me more time to zzzz.....ah B ask if i want to go on Sunday to be his guest again and if im free continue to record his programme too......well, i noe the disappearance is weird and that though i dun mind gng, i just dun feel like to do it, now.....need to sleep and forget.....
anyway, tomorrow's the day for me and fern to perform weizhen's charleston routine and we have to do it good....cannot throw face away..... so wish me luck...
i've move on....life is full of failures and one just have to pick themselves up and move on....
No comments:
Post a Comment