An experience

I know im not prepared to meet him.

I know the guilt is still there.

I know deep down that its still painful just that it never really surface.

Yet, i agreed. Deep down, im scared. Not sure what to expect. Too many what if's in my head.

He needed my help to help bring his passport down so he do not need to park his car. He offered a morning lift to work. I do not have reason to reject. I said Yes on a reply message.

I woke up late in the morning. Rush. Late AGAIN. He prolly thinks so but wouldnt say me anymore. We were sort of caught in a little morning jam. He drove. In his new yellow Honda. The familiar feeling of being in a car came rushing back to me. Soo familiar. I did not enjoy the feeling. The guilt sink in. I attempted to behave normally. I was struggling inside. I can do this, i told myself. I did.

When i alighted and went up to collect the passport, my colleague say he sort of expected the person to collect the passport works in this office. Sigh. Went down, pass to him and msn sis. I cried in the office.

I am still when im blogging now. I salute my courage. Way to go! Ganbatte!