Grandma's gone

I was at the F & P Nations Cup with MX when i receive an sms from mum, "Popo is at nuh@emergency. They are doing cpr to revive her" I was like, "huh"....i called mum, "what happened?"

After calling sis next, i left immediately to take a cab. Never felt that long for me to ever find a cab. I couldnt hail one off the road, went to the taxi stand instead.

While in the cab, i was like wondering y the driver is taking soo long to reach, y he is taking this route and if grandma leave us, did she like grandpa, chose a sunday? There were too many questions in my head, and i needed answers.

Just when the cab turn into the hospital, sis sms, "popo passed away". My gosh. I alighted, run to the emergency and open the door to the counselling room. Mum and a few others were inside crying. Godma was with grandma when grandma passed out. They had wanted to bring her for a foot reflexology to enjoy after her discharged from the hospital. Uncle Jerome was with them. On numerous occasions, grandma was tired and they took a rest. But she passed out before reaching the reflexology and after sometime, her limps were cold. Uncle Jerome was at somewhere buying a wheelchair for grandma and had to help call the ambulance. It took sometime for the ambulance to come but once arrived, they performed cpr all the way to the hospital. Grandma did not survive and passed away...

She is 83. After 3months and 13 days after grandpa died, she left us. Within a year, we encountered 3 deaths. Uncle Larry, grandpa and grandma. The aunties cried badly when we were allowed to see grandma's body. I remembered the last i saw her, was at the hospital when she was warded for further observations and test after her fall. She seemed blur then, prolly shocked from her fall. She seems alright then. Never expect her to go...

Life seems soo fragile. The minute you see her/him, the next minute, that same person might be gone. Although i know its hard to do and at times, its not within your own control, but we should try to do something for our love ones. Rong Biao mentioned that kinship is the most important and priceless relationship. I agreed. But added a statement that it is also the most neglected. Man then to take things for granted. I acknowledge that and is one party that is practising that. Takes time to change.....

Anyway, we had to go home and start preparing for all required. The death was due to a heart failure after the post mortem diagonosis the following day. Mum went to stay over at Auntie beth's place and the house was left for me and dad.

Everyday was work, hospital, work hospital. I was the one to break the news to Aunt Margaret who has gone back to BVI. I called in her wee hours and told her, "ah yee, popo passed away already. we are at the hospital now and i will call again to update later. and we ended the conversation." I couldnt hold back my tears as they drop down my eyes.

I also had to break the news to auntie angela who is popo's fren organising a trip to Rome. It was a trip specially organised for popo by her frens due to her enthusiasm and her being well like. She tot i was joking, i hope too, but no. Then Ryan and I spend sometime waiting for others to come and visit grandma before she is sent to the mortuary. Lots of tissues were used, discussion on the signs popo show before she passed away, and even self blame. Godma blamed herself for bring popo to a walk but we consoled her that it isnt the case. No one would have expected that to happen.

As the preparation for the wake and funeral begins, through past experience, i decided to not get myself soo involved in the preps. However, still got a 'scolding' from jean after i ask, "the money seems quite significant and we want to bring the money up." The reply came with a irritated look, "then just bring it up lah." Come on, i needed to know where to place the cash ah! What wrong have i done! Was pissed about that comment that i declared, im never gonna ask the ling sisters for anything again in such occasion. Come on, who is not upset? Did i ask something that DESERVE such treatment? I know you are upset, tired but i needed to work too lor! I hated it whenever the seniors think they will be more upset and can be irritated. Pls lah. There's never a real gauge of who is more upset. Its just how a person deals with it. Seriously, Im glad both my grandparents did not have to suffer much before they leave. And yes, we need to be more rationale when handling the wake preps, not let emotions rule. Things needed to be done and a clear mind helps.

Then when i was at the office, i must say that my new boss is very nice. When i told him of the news as i needed to take leave on thursday for the funeral, he goes "we are rather flexible here, do take leave if you need to." Sounded soo angelic. And he was the only one who wants to send a wreath on his own, initiated to find out more on whether i could take compassionate leave and ask if others wants to go to the wake together. In the end, he was the only one who makes an effort to come. Im not saying that people who doesn't appear is not good, but just saying that people who makes an effort to come are really nice. I've learnt over the years that no matter what, its always nice to let people noe that you care. Its really heartwarming.

And i wanted to add on that my boss even ask me to take friday off cos i will most probably be tired and needed rest. My gosh, he's soo sweet. Dun be mistaken cos my new boss is old enuff to be my dad i think. At that point of time, i just felt nice.

When mp was asked if she wana go down to the wake together, the only question she ask me is, "where is the wake?" and her reaction was "soo far...err dun think i'll go" when she hear me say CCK is the location of the wake. MP is my ex-boss-boss. See the difference? I know im in good hands from now on.

Anyway, tomorrow is the last day to see popo. I'll always remember her with her self wrapped cigarette, her birds, her smile, the look when i irritate her on purpose and many more......I'll missed you deeply....Please take good care when you are in heaven with grandpa.

Lots of love....